"Hmm...too much?" Sometimes, I ask myself this, as I'm reaching for a pair of giant gold leaf earrings, or as I'm converting a neck tie into a band to lace around my forehead. I have tons of hair accessories stored in my closets that I rarely use- like berets. When I was growing up in Naija, I couldn't wait till I was old enough to go to Secondary school, just so I could finally wear berets as part of my uniform. Lame?? Lol. Well, I thought and still think that they are so chic.
Do you ever experience those moments when you feel like you should tone down your... you? Here's the backstory: I went to the fair yesterday, and as I headed towards my car to leave, one of my neighbors hollered out, "Alla that, huh?" I turned towards her, and found an indulgent grin on her face. So, I smiled and nodded, "Yes, ma'am. All of this!"
I assumed, she was referring to my fun beret, and on our way to the fairgrounds, I started wondering to myself, whether I needed to remove it. Maybe I looked too attention seeking? The introvert in me shudders at the thought of a gazillion eyeballs looking my way. But, eventually, I decided to leave it on. So what, if folks think it's too much? Wetin be my concern with them?
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| Hair: Week old braid out without any reapplied products |
At the fair, we were in line to ride this monster.
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| I'm such a wuss with amusement rides. I overheard a conversation being held by a guy surrounded by a group of girls. Okay, so I was eavesdropping, lol but avoiding their discussion was impossible, and their conversation struck home. Long story to short, they wanted to know his name, and apparently, he'd mentioned one that they deemed to be too generic. He was Yoruba, and they wanted to hear a more "authentic" name. He eventually, mumbled another name reluctantly, and immediately, they asked him to repeat it. |
"See? See??" Was his response, as the girls clustered even closer to him, reassuring him that they all thought his name was unique, not inferior, as he must've expected them to declare.
He'd probably experienced the screwed up face of disgust from others, upon hearing his "authentic" name before, and decided on a more ordinary moniker. I wanted to turn around to tell him not to ever feel obligated to downplay himself for anyone's comfort.
But, I didnt. Obvi I wasn't supposed to be listening in to their conversation after all. I simply, made sure my beret was snug on my head, and when our turn came for the ride, I stepped bravely on.
How do you keep yourself from internalizing insecurities from other people?
Its tricky toeing the line between giving a damn and not. I think you look great.
ReplyDeleteThank you! It definitely is.
ReplyDeleteHoney, Red is your color o! Stunning as usual :)
ReplyDeleteHonestly, it is hard not to internalize insecurities from others. As a teenager i suffered through this...As an adult i have come to realize that being ok and comfortable with who you are goes a long way. "Let others be them and you be you" This has helped me tremendously!
Mmh hmm! I know right? It really does go a long way. Makes life so much easier, if we weren't always so concerned with what folks thought. I'm a recovering people pleaser. :(
Delete**I apologize in advance for any grammer mistakes and such**
DeleteYou are too witty. You remind me so much of...
So I informed you that I was going to check out your blog again. Little did I realize the amount of information I overlooked. Aside from your hair, we share a couple of similarities. Ahh, the confessions of an introvert. We do know more than people even family may realize ;). Being me, I would do and internally react the same way. Sometimes, it is best not to involve self into situations that I am not previously involved not matter how mentally affected I may be. Ey, there I go veering from your question-- We are all human, so it is only natural to internalize insecurities from others. I feel we are more susceptible as a child to be engulfed in those negative feelings. I am not trying to claiming any superfemale powere... but oddly enough I was able to cast a shell from others at a very early age. Mommy always says "Ada, you are way mature beyond your age o!" ...when she sneeks behind my logic. But, that shell will never completely hinder me from experiencing insecurities tucked inside. That was the beginning of writing in diaries secured inside clothes, under stacks of books,etc. It really helped me release my feelings. I become forever thankful for experiencing this small bundle of insecurities.-- As a reflect back to those particular situations, I am able to mold myself into a better self. I encouraged myself that I am too much for this. This method helped me get over these situations quickly for many years. That contributes to me being a much bold and fierce "recovering people pleaser [haha so true though]." Raises glasses of apple cider. Let's go! Chugs AC. ;)
Just seeing this. Do you know I said "mmmmh" out loud quite a few times to your comment? Lol. Recovering people pleaser? What?? Yes, I'm clinking my glass to yours o.
DeleteI'm currently still deal with this. You're absolutely right, we introverts can build thick shells, and yes, they don't totally protect us from insecurities.
I started keeping journals when I was a kid too- so many observations to note that it made sense to just document them.
Stay in your lane is my mantra as I tend to just stay in my head lol. Special people get invitations though lol.
I'm glad you're here boo! Thank you SO much for sharing.
I am glad you responded boo! Did you receive my message via facebook? We are more similar than I expected :)...you made my day! I see myself responding the same way you did..weird! lol...especially at "special people get invitations though"....people may mistake that as being cocky, but our intention is not to appear as that....just truth. At least we are entitled to our own opinion AND truth. Have a great day!
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